Monday, April 30, 2012

Wolf Mountain 2012!

Last week I had the most awesome privilege of attending Wolf Mountain Science Camp with Colby and his 7/8 grade class. I went along as a chaperone for the girl's cabin. It was a very sweet time of reflection on all of God's goodness. We studied His creation of the things that we are surrounded by every day. We studied our own hearts and where we are at in our spirituality. We studied how God delivers us, protects us, comforts us, restores us, and guides us. What a week! Psalm 23The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.He makes me lie down in green pastures,he leads me beside quiet waters,he restores my soul.He guides me in paths of righteousnessfor his name's sake.Even though I walk through the valley of theshadow of death,I will fear no evil,for you are with me;Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.You prepare a table before mein the presence of my enemies.You anoint my head with oil;my cup overflows.Surely goodness and love will follow meall the days of my life,and I will dwell in the house of the Lordforever. Scripture that I have known since I was a young girl, but this week it came alive! Every bit of the green pastures and quiet waters surrounded me in a literal way. The beauty of all that He has created just wasn't something to be missed. It rained for two of the days that we were there. It wasn't fun getting rained on and wet, but at the same time, even the rain and cold was beautiful. It was a week of being shepherded by my Master. I had some much needed one on one time with Colby too. Dad and the boys at home were covering us in prayer all week, and one of the things that I specifically asked them to pray about was that Colby and I would be allowed some special time together... Just the two of us. It was such a blessing! We both came home with hearts that were refreshed by the Holy Spirit and on fire to serve God in whatever ways He has us to. There were many activities that kept us busy all week. Everything from horse back riding to zip lining in the dark (yes, even MOM did it). :)The times in chapel were my most favorite though. I left every chapel service with tears trying to make their way out of my eyes. I felt change taking place in me, and I saw evidence of change in my son, as well as some of the other campers. Some of them I didn't know before I got there. Another school from down in the valley came to WM last week too. One boy in particular stole a piece of my heart. His father passed away in July due to cancer. This was his first trip away from home since. He arrived at camp as a quiet and reserved boy who shied away from a lot. As the camp director spoke of faith, and our loving creator, this boy's attitude seemed to take on a different look. By the last day, he was on the high ropes course making every adult at the camp choke up! It was quite the testimony... What a week... So much to remember and hold close.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Raising The White Flag!

I've been hearing this song a lot lately... Yet another one of those things that has happened and I have received a check in my spirit knowing that it is by no accident. God is so perfect... So on time. I realize that sometimes it appears that we are one big yo-yo family. We decide this, and then we decide that. That's the problem though... WE decide. It should never be that way. Surrender should be something that comes naturally, don't you think? It isn't though... And that is why we lift this white flag when "the war" is over. For some reason, our natural instinct is to fight the war first. We give it everything we have. We have absolutely NO peace, and we continue the battle until we feel that there is justice. Justice comes in the act of surrender though. Last week, through many different circumstances, we raised our flag. I cannot tell you what life has been like since. All I can say is that there has been TOTAL surrender, and in that, justice has come. We will only move from this place if we are made to before the end of our two year wait to buy another home. We actually had a rental application filled out last week for another home. We were within minutes of handing over the application for this house that would have all new everything! All new carpet, paint, fixtures, appliances... EVERYTHING! It was a bigger home that would come at a bigger price. Somehow, we had almost convinced ourselves that we NEEDED it, that we DESERVED it. Truthfully, nothing could be further from the truth. Our needs are being met right where we are at, and WE are not the ones to say what WE deserve! The Lord should always be the one to gift us, not ourselves. I remember many years ago Jason and I had been through the loss of our first two sons. We had then met up with difficulties conceiving. We tried everything.... Including medications. After over a year of this, we decided to lift our flag of surrender. Neither of us had been baptized. We decided to be baptized together as an act of re-committing our lives to Christ and surrendering our lives to only Him. It was not even a month later that we conceived Lucas, our son who will be turning 15 in June! We immediately knew the glory went to our Jesus. He hasn't changed. He still waits for us to surrender ALL... To stop the battle. I don't know why it has taken us so long this time to lay this all at His feet, but we finally have. With that, there is much more beauty in the every day again. This place that we have made home even appears more beautiful than before. He has given me new eyes with this act of surrender. He has heard my prayers about wanting to get back to living only for each day instead of rushing time away. The white flag is up and waving strong. With His help, we will continue to hold it high.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Again

We have yet another new plan. We met with people last week and learned much more about what our big picture looks like..... Financially speaking. It will be awhile before we buy another house. I think everyone that I know expected me to come away from this news stomping my feet and wailing, but I didn't. Turns out, what I really needed most was just to know. Now we know, and now we have a new plan.

It took me a long time to master the art (actually, it's more of a discipline) of living each day just for itself. Reading, counting gifts daily, praying, my attitude.... All these things contributed to my success of being able to not rush time away in anticipation for the next "thing". It was a good place for me to be. I miss it now. I haven't been there in awhile. It's time to go back...

We are moving again. We are looking for a home to get comfortable in. This house has been a gift in it's own funky way. We have learned here. We have learned a lot about what doesn't work for a family of five with three being boys and two dogs to boot! Our land lord is graciously letting us out of our lease and we will take our time in finding the RIGHT place to make home for the next couple of years.

With all of this moving, I am being stretched to capacity. I am leaning on Jesus like never before. I am letting go of a lot, and I am gaining even more. The character that is forming in these boys of ours is amazing! They don't like it anymore than I do, and none of us expected this ride when we left our big home in the little woods a year ago now. However, I STILL believe that we will all be better individuals and a better family unit when this is all finished.

Would you please pray for us friends? Pray that J and I would have incredulous discernment when choosing this new home. Pray that we might receive the blessing of a landlord that would allow us to make this house our home for the time we need. Pray that there will be an incredible amount of comfort found in this new home and that there would no longer be a need felt to rush time away.

Thank you for continuing on this journey with us. We are blessed!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Lead me to the Cross -- The Passion of the Christ



Praying that this day and this weekend will be a time of mourning and then rejoicing. I want to acknowledge the pain that my Jesus suffered for ME. I want to be on my knees and then I want to stand in praise.

He is and ALWAYS will be my strength that takes on and endures what I cannot, my song that inspires me and leads me and my SAVIOR that has paid the ultimate price.