My Billboard

I've been wanting to write a post about the boys and all of our happenings lately. They are growing before my eyes. Summer time seems to do that. Like gardens... give them water and sunshine and watch them blossom.

This morning though, I need to write about something else, so I'll come back to boys soon....

For a long time, I have prayed that I would receive the gift of hearing God talking to me loud and clear. I have prayed for billboards before my eyes to make his words to me unmistakable. There are people in my life that have that gift, and it has always seemed incredible to me. They live their lives with such peace day in and day out. At least it has seemed that way to me... until yesterday.

Yesterday I got my billboard. Was I peaceful about it? No. Was I panicked? Yes. This morning I woke up with peace though. I woke up grateful that God listens to my heart cries and His timing is AMAZING! I have a task before me. I won't share here what that task specifically is, but it involves sharing Jesus with someone I love dearly. This person KNOWS Jesus, but has walked away many years ago. During these years, I have continued to share Jesus with this person... but I have not been bold about it. BOLD was the word on my billboard yesterday.... and now I am praying that God will give me the perfect words to share with this person, so that he can see that love brought me to this conversation with him. My love for him... but more importantly, God's love for him.

God is good. I trust Him. I know He will give me the words.... He gave me my billboard.

Refuge

Know my divine power. Trust in Me. Dwell in my love. Laugh and trust. Laughter is a child's faith in God and good. Seek safety in My secret place. You cannot be touched or harmed there. That is sure. Really feel as if you were in a strong tower, strongly guarded, and against which nothing can prevail.

~ Taken from a little devotional called 'God Calling'. These short 1 minute devotionals speak VOLUMES to my soul!

Think of the biggest sky scraper you have EVER seen. Aren't they mighty... and even a bit beautiful? Their greatness makes them appear in-destructable. And yet... as history has told us, they are fragile even still. God is not though. He is mighty, beautiful AND His greatness is indescribable! HIS greatness is NOT fragile. It is strong! His love is the ultimate shelter over me. As the devotional says... under Him I am guarded and NOTHING can harm me.

I sit here in my quiet house this morning with the windows and doors open, cool air making it's way through and I am experiencing such peace. I have peace in knowing that God is my tower. He is my refuge and I am so grateful that I do not live my life without Him. Nothing breaks my heart more than knowing that there are people in my life that are experiencing such great pain, but they are doing it without Him. They are not choosing to seek refuge in the shelter of His tower.

This morning I am on my knees for these loved ones of mine.

Riding In Cars With Boys

Lately, I've done a lot of that.... Riding in cars with boys.

Summer has been flying by, mostly because we have spent it in full speed. This week is our first opportunity to slow down and enjoy some lazy dog days.... Oh, and hear it will be plenty HOT this week too! So, I wanted to start the week off by jotting down a few thoughts about our "adventures" around here.

Lucas once again played on the All-Star team this year. They had several two hour practices each week and the tournament was last week and part of this last weekend. It was a double elimination tournament, so they played three games and that was The End. Lucas did some awesome ball playing! Every year we are amazed at his abilities and how much he progresses at his game. He genuinely LOVES the game, and it's not hard to see. He puts every ounce of passion into every play, and he ALWAYS has some great plays and "at bats". However, we learned this year that one or two people can't carry the game. Everyone needs to feel the same in order to play their best game and win. It was sad to hear him express his frustrations after the last game. Not about not winning, but about how a couple of the boys on his team have bad attitudes and how they bring down the team causing everyone else not to play to their potential. Luke gets it... we hope and pray that someday he is able to play with a group of boys who get it too.

Caleb has been quite the fish this summer. He gets up at the crack o' dawn to go to swim team practice in the morning (we don't ALWAYS make that one) and then he goes again in the afternoon. He has participated in two meets and taken first place in his age category in three of the four strokes. His name is now on our local records board. His smile couldn't be any bigger or brighter! He has really taken this challenge and ran with it (or shall I say swam with it). We had no idea what to expect out of swim team since we have never done it before, but we are quickly learning that it is a HUGE time commitment, but it is what Caleb LOVES.

Colby has been an excellent encouragement to his brothers. He knows his season is coming next (soccer) so for the most part, he is happy to be the fan in the stands for now. He took a bad spill on his bike a couple of weeks ago, and the Doc thought that he had fractured part of his leg, but thankfully.... legs in casts were NOT in our summer plan. His leg was pretty gimpy for a week or so, and it required daily wrapping and an extra dose of Mama love, but I'm pretty sure he'll be back on his bike today. He has come up with some business plans for their "lemonade stand business" that would knock the socks off of many men in the Big City. This boy is a true thinker. The three of them have made $35 in selling lemonade for six hours! In addition, they have received two yard jobs from people on our street totaling $60! They are some money making dudes alright!!!

In all of this, I have been driving them around. We drive from home to baseball fields (some an hour or more away), from baseball fields to swimming pools, from swimming pools to grocery stores for lemonade stand supplies and weed wacker string, from stores to doctor's offices and then... finally.... back home. In between all of that, we have fit in a trip to the river for fun, a camping trip with friends, and a few just for kicks pool days.

I sat in church last night and listened to our pastor talk about reaching people. I immediately knew that this message served as a reminder of my "mission". After church I told the boys that as a young girl, I always wanted to go on mission trips, but I never got to. I explained to them that ever since then, I have had this un-fulfilled desire within me to go out and share Jesus with others. As I sat in church last night, I remembered that my number one mission is being served while riding in cars with boys. I am serving Jesus by serving my family and showing them what Jesus looks like in our home, on the baseball field, in the baseball stands, at the swimming pool, in front of our own house while helping them serve others with lemonade, and the list goes on.

We were blessed with an amazing opportunity last week. To back up, we were planning on being a part of our church group serving water bottles to the crowds at a local 4th of July parade. At the last minute, we decided that we probably shouldn't attempt it with one boy limping around on a very sore leg. We were bummed that we couldn't be a part of serving in this way. HOWEVER, the very next day we were traveling down to the river to go get wet on an extremely hot day. We were on a very long dirt road when we came upon a group of four young people whose car had broken down. They were going to attempt to walk out of the canyon to a service station to call for help. We had the truck, so we invited them to get into the back and we would take them out. Before we picked them up, we had our air conditioner cranked on this almost 100 degree day, but we thought it wouldn't be very 'cool' of us to stick them in the back, roll up our windows and enjoy the air conditioning. So we suffered the dust and hot air right along with them while climbing the one lane, winding, bumpy dirt road up the canyon for the next half an hour to 45 minutes. At one point, the boys started to complain. We talked about the Good Samaritan and the fact that there must have been many people who just passed these young people to get to the water, but in order to be who God CALLED us to be, we found it a privilege to stop and help these people. After all, it would have taken them all day to get out of there, and they didn't even have any water. God blessed us with this opportunity to serve... it didn't necessarily take an "event" to be the face, hands and feet of Jesus.

It's in the every day.

God has reminded me... It's in Riding In Cars With Boys.

Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me

I found this video this morning and it brought early morning tears to my eyes. I can't tell you how many times J and I have wanted to move from this ol' house we live in. Every time we mention that though, our boys FREAK OUT! I have come to understand that it is home for us.... and for these sweet boys of ours... it is part of what "builds" them every day.

ENJOY!

Oh, and don't forget to dis-able the background music at the bottom of the page before viewing the video...

In The Middle

I've been thinking a lot lately about my purpose in writing on these pages. It started out as being a way to communicate with friends and relatives that we don't see often. They get a taste of "us" on a semi-regular basis, and the pictures are always a bonus. Then... it became a way to "scrapbook" our lives. I have scrapbooks, but I seem to really stink at keeping up with them. In the midst of all of this, strangers have come to this site and left comments about being "inspired" by something that I wrote. One reader even said that he/she (it was an anonymous comment) had made some life changes based on their thoughts provoked by something I wrote.

Okay... so that is SO NOT what I EVER intended this site to be. BUT....

I won't lie and tell you that I wasn't at all excited about the fact that others enjoy reading what I write. Language arts was always my favorite, but especially the writing. I have kept journals since I was 14 years old. I have always been somewhat of a "deep thinker". Therefore.... During the past couple of weeks, I have stopped to think and pray (while taking MORE cough syrup) about the purpose in these pages.

I will continue to scrapbook. I will keep on journaling our lives so that all of the things that I might otherwise forget will get recorded. While doing this might seem to some like it should just include daily life and pictures, to me... since I am admittedly a deep thinker, it will also include much more. If this is an avenue that God chooses to make my life more missional, then I will consider that a gift and be grateful for the opportunity.

With that... brace yourselves for a long post.

I heard Casting Crowns 'Somewhere In The Middle' on my ipod last night. Like so many times before, I heard this song for the millionth time, but it's meaning just spoke differently to me. I found myself sitting there with this prayerful heart. I considered all that I've ever been, who I am now, and who I will become. I came home and looked back at posts from the beginning of these pages, and I see a person who has experienced HUGE growth. I have moved from the 'Whisper' to the 'Roar'. However, I'm STILL in the middle. I realized after thinking on it for a while that I'm pretty sure that's where I'll always be. Is that a bad thing? Well, I don't think it is. I think it's just where God wants me. Being in the middle means that I am continually seeking Him... wanting more. I am desiring to achieve that deep water faith in the DEEP end instead of the shallow end. And when I achieve that someday, then I will be seeking Him still... wanting to achieve even more.

It's not a bad thing to make goals in life. I have always been encouraged to do so, and I now encourage my boys to do the same. I have learned though, that our goals might not be the same as God's goals for our lives. Something that we see as a small and almost insignificant goal can become a life changing opportunity... IF we don't miss it. It's easy to miss too. It's easy to overlook the obvious and say, "Well, maybe somebody ELSE can handle that, but most certainly NOT me".

After praying about what I was to write today, It became obvious. Today, what I want to share is that each time I step out in obedience of my Creator and go forward with something that I never would have considered for myself, I get closer to the Altar. I get closer to living out God's desires for my life instead of my own dreams for myself.

To me, this deep thinker that I am.... THAT'S a beautiful thing.

A Letter To Luke

Dearest Son of MIne,

I can't even fathom that you are actually a TEENAGER now! I know I say this all the time, but WHERE does the time go?

Last night I hugged you good night and I held you tighter than I usually do. I told you that my boys' birthdays were a bittersweet thing for me. I explained that I LOVE to celebrate the day of your birth, but at the same time, I recognize that we are one year closer to the day that you will leave this nest. That's hard for a Mama. I know you don't completely get it now, because I remember my parents saying the same goofy things to me, and I thought they were a little cooky (sorry Mom & Dad). However, I can now say that someday you WILL get it. The day that you lay your eyes on each of your babies (LOTS... remember?) is when it first starts and I guess that yes... we DO get a little cooky with all of our little "mushy" statements and long stares at the breakfast table while you're just trying to enjoy your pancakes.

I never get tired of telling you how proud I am of you. You are an example for many to follow.... Including me. Your heart is so sweet. You gain the respect of others so easily. I have had the most awesome privilege this year of observing you interact with teachers and fellow class mates. I never worried about that too much, but at the same time, I had no idea how many hearts you would melt. Every student, teacher and parent had nothing but GREAT things to say about the person that you are. The thing that makes me so proud is this...

The person that you are is the person that God created you to be. You have never tried to change that. You have never wanted to be anything different. So many other young people your age are trying to do that continuously. They even take it into adult hood. They aren't happy people usually, and it shows. You see the gifts that you have and you just build upon them. People notice that and they admire it. There are many reasons that I could list of why I'm so proud to be your mom, but THIS is the reason that is at the top of my list.

I have enjoyed watching your guitar skills improve this year, and your love of music in general has definitely been sparked. The musician in me LOVES this and I am grateful that we have that in common. I have also loved watching you play baseball again this season. You set goals for yourself and you achieved them. Everyone says that you are fun to watch during the games because you are so serious about it. I tell them that this game is fun, but to you, it is a serious matter. I inform them that you've been strategizing this game since you were two years old holding that little Fisher Price chunky bat!

This year, as you face even more of life's ups and downs (yes, it seems to increase the older you get) I pray that you will continue to stand firm in who you are and your faith in The One who made you so perfectly. I will also pray that you will keep on being that light in a world that has so much darkness. I love you, Lucas. On this day thirteen years ago I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You were so beautiful. Today, I feel even more the same.

Love,

Mom

Someone Pushed The "Mute" Button!

I have spent the last two days with no voice. It was slowly going starting on Friday. Saturday morning I woke up and had very little... THEN, we went to Luke's baseball game and he hit a GRAND SLAM....

VOILA! No voice left now....

I'm pretty sure I have laryngitis. I have never had it before, but I "researched" it on the internet, and it sure sounds like it. It's frustrating, not having a voice and being a wife and mom of three boys. I'm sure most of you can imagine. Oh, and I think the worst is having dogs with no voice. I have tried my best just to avoid the dogs these past few days. They DON'T listen for my sweet little whisper the same way my boys do. They take FULL advantage instead.

Anyhow, going to church tonight was unique (without a voice to speak or sing), and I thought it would be a big bummer. Truthfully though, it turned out to be a blessing. I discovered that when you cannot talk, you listen better. I heard everything differently tonight. The songs we sang we have sung a hundred times before, but tonight... I listened to them differently than I ever have before. They were like lullabies. I closed my eyes and lifted my head. I just listened and I sung the words through my soul! It was awesome!! Our message was awesome too. I think I even heard the message differently than I would have with a voice. I know that sounds crazy, but I know that I've heard before that when one sense is weakened, (not to say that your voice IS actually a sense, I guess) the others are heightened. It all makes such sense to me now. It was a huge blessing for me to hear things tonight... without a voice.

I'm praying that my voice will be back tomorrow. I don't think I want to attempt any days without a voice AND a husband. Tonight I ate soup from the "Get Well Mug" that the boys and I made last year at the pottery place. It has a really good record of success.... Well, the mug AND the many prayers that my boys are saying for their Mama. Yes... they DO miss my voice. It's been strangely quiet. I really didn't know the amount of noise I make around here I guess. :0)