Saturday, May 21, 2011

Overwhelming GodNess

Normally I am inspired with a title to my posts, and I go from there. God just puts some phrase or word containing a lot of thought on my heart and then writing about it is so simple. Today I am starting this post with a blank title.

This morning I just woke up early feeling like it had been too long since I had written. This is our busiest time of year... End of school year, baseball, swim team, baseball, vacation planning, baseball. Oh, and did I say baseball? Gathering my thoughts isn't an easy task. Simply gathering enough thought to prepare dinner at the end of the day sometimes proves itself to be quite the daunting task! Therefore, if you look back in history you will notice that this blog tends to be lacking fresh pages during the months of April~July.

Since beginning this post, there is a phrase that keeps coming to my mind... Overwhelming GodNess! See, He works like that. Yes, I know GodNess isn't a word. I think you may know where I'm going here though. It has been almost two months since we have made our move down the big hill. We are pretty settled in already. Sure there are still some things to be hung on the walls and other decorating touches that I will continue to add. I would do that anyhow, even without a move. I just like decorating. Our life down here feels good. The boys have friends that they hang with almost daily right across the street. J is MUCH happier having his daily commute cut in half. I am in seventh heaven having a grocery store right down the street. Luke is now officially enrolled in high school for the fall and Colby and Caleb are also enrolled in a private school that I'm VERY excited about being a part of next fall too. Caleb is on the local swim team (and I DO mean local... It's only 1.5 miles from the house), Colby is wrapping up his first season of playing baseball down here (He hit his first inside the park home run the other night). It feels like we've been here for years... And yet I'm not sure if the conveniences are something I'll EVER get used to! It's easy to see EVERY day all the ways in which God has showered us with goodness.

I was telling a friend recently that when we first started this process, I felt like we were about to endure great punishment for poor decisions made. In the beginning, I never felt like any reward would come out of this move. I remember calling her to tell her that we were selling our house. I cried so hard that I'm not sure she really heard my words too accurately. I did hear her though. She told me that it would be okay... That God was in this and He would see us through. She was MORE than right.

God has shown us what He is capable of. He has done so much MORE than see us through. He has carried us all the way and then He has set new purpose right before our eyes. I can't tell you how many times during the past few weeks of living in our new home... Our new community, that J and I have encountered moments where we were "Oh, okay NOW I get it... This is all yet another piece of the puzzle." God is so faithful to show us that this is NOT punishment... It IS part of His plan for us, and it HAS purpose!! I can even say now that it is His reward.

Today is another full day of baseball. I LOVE these days! Waking up with excitement over what I will witness in my boys for the day gives me the biggest rush. I always witness something... It may be a big hit, a big play or a big lesson learned, but it's always something. Today though, I feel like this day will be different. Different because I woke up with a completely overwhelming feeling of God's goodness. I woke up feeling like I'm in the middle of my own big lesson learned. I don't want the learning to ever stop either. Learning feels good. Sometimes it hurts to the point of crying so hard that you cannot possibly be understood, but even that feels good in it's own way. God has so much to teach me.

Thank you, Lord... For your overwhelming GodNess.

Monday, May 9, 2011


There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

This morning { the morning AFTER my favorite day of the year... Mother's Day} I crawled out of bed early, came out to the couch and started my morning quiet time. I opened my bible to the book of Ecclesiastes. I have read from this book before, but this morning I read it from beginning to end. My eyes were wide open and my heart was pounding as I read the words before me. What a treasure!

I immediately knew that opening my bible to this book was no mistake. Yesterday was a good day. Caleb got up and made a pot of coffee { he never would tell me how many scoops of coffee he put in... he wanted it to be a surprise! } , Colby busied himself with making yet another beautiful card, and Lucas prepared a simple breakfast. I stayed in bed just a little longer than usual. We went to church and listened to a heart felt message from our pastor. I cried. We went to lunch, visited with my mom and came home. We tried to take a nap, but eventually got up and headed out the door again for a much needed family hike. The sun came out just in time! It was such a lovely day. Without skipping a beat though, during each part of the day I kept asking myself, "Will this ever come to an end? What will Mother's Day look like for me years down the road? Will it still be my favorite?"

After reading the scriptures I read this morning, I can say, "YES!" Mother's Day will always be my favorite. It won't always look the same. Seasons change. I am learning to accept that. Seasons change, but I will always be 'Mom'. I will always wear that name tag with such pride and joy. My heart explodes with joy over being a mom to my three boys!

My own mother has let the seasons of motherhood come in and lead her to where she needs to be. I learn from her. I hope to always learn from her. The way she mothers me now is different in many ways from the way she mothered me as a young girl. She loves me the same, but she shares it differently.

I no longer sit and swaddle my babies. Counting their toes is something not viewed in my eyes as sweet anymore { actually, pretty gross }. I DO cheer them on though. I try to never miss a baseball game, a swim meet, a debate at school or a musical performance. I am their biggest fan... for now. I know that season will change too. When it does though, I will be ready to grab onto whatever the next season of motherhood brings. It always does bring something new.

I will always claim being a mommy to be my greatest prize this side of heaven. It was a gift given to me by the one who made me... The One who knew that Mother's Day would forever be my favorite.

I love you boys...

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Bald Is Beautiful!

I cannot go to bed this night without posting what is so heavy on my heart.

Tonight we attended a benefit event for a sweet family that we have known for many years. Their ten year old daughter was recently diagnosed with Lymphoma. She is in the middle of the biggest battle of her life right now, and she fights with such grace and HUGE faith!

I can't think of Emma Kait without visualizing the first time I met her. Our Caleb was just an infant and he was being fussy in church. We were visiting a new church too. So, I did what many other mommies do with fussy babies and I exited the sanctuary and made my way to the foyer. Emma's mommy, Rebecca was holding sweet little 1 year old Emma on her hip out in the foyer for the same reason. We made our way to the nursing mother's room to feed our hungry babies. We talked about all the things that two new mother's talk about and I knew instantly that we would be good friends. Never in a million years did I imagine that 9 years later we would be attending an event to help support their family through a journey infested with this horrible disease called cancer. My heart sinks with every thought of it!

Tonight we brought home two bald boys. Colby and Caleb both supported Emma by having people sponsor them to have their heads shaved. As we drove home I kept glancing back at their clean shaven heads. I did a lot of praying too. Thank you God, that they have hearts to serve others. Thank you God, that we can be a support to these friends who love their daughter no less than we love these boys of ours. Thank you God, that these boys of ours are healthy... For them being bald was a choice they made, not a necessary cold, hard reality. Saying this last prayer was almost difficult. I almost have a sense of feeling guilty. Why did this disease attack Emma? Why has it attacked so many young children that we have known over the past 5 or so years? Why?

As it's been said many times, there are some things we will never have answers to this side of heaven. This is one of those things. I do know this...

Emma has a story to share. She's already sharing it. I can't tell you how many people I have talked to and mentioned her name only to be surprised to hear, "Oh, I've heard about her. What a brave little girl! Her faith speaks volumes to my heart!" These are strangers to Emma. Her story has a face. Her face has a story. There are miracles happening, both physical and spiritual. God knew that Emma and her family would be instruments of His un-dying love and faithfulness. He knew that a whole community of people would be there to hold them up when they needed it, loving them, caring for them, supporting them even with dozens upon dozens of bald heads!

I put my boys to bed tonight with extra hugs and kisses. Their sweet little heads are reminders of their even sweeter hearts. We will continue to lift up and support Emma and her family, Jon, Rebecca, Joseph and Ben. Please remember to pray with us for them. I have learned that even complete strangers can have HUGE impact on people's hearts.