Monday, March 28, 2011

My eyes on His

~ I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. ~ Psalm 32:8

There are a million other things that I could/should be doing right now, but I feel like I need to record what's been on my heart these past few days. This is a place for me to journal our lives, so I must stop for a few to place into words where things are at these final days of our "Big woods days".

My body couldn't have chosen a worse time to come down with the WORST sickness EVER in my adult life. I am now on my second course of antibiotics. The weather has been completely AWFUL!! Pouring rain has turned to huge snowflakes at the drop of a hat almost on an every other day basis the past couple of weeks. Our ability to take loads to the new house hasn't been an ability at all because of this crazy weather! The power has gone out COUNTLESS times, leaving me to sort and pack in the dark. All in all, I feel like there has been a force working against me.... BUT... a Force bigger than that has kept my eyes looking upward. Sure, at times I have fallen to my knees (or crawled under my covers) and had a good cry. Usually, it was because I was feeling sorry for myself being stuck doing all of this while feeling so physically BADLY. Sometimes I would shed a few tears because I miss my mom and wish that she were here to help with this mess (she's in Florida). It's our mess though... not hers. I have been able to gain perspective too... That this mess IS a beautiful mess. It's a mess that God orchestrated and He continues to do so. He has turned my chin up when the temptation has been to hang my head very low. He gifted me the other day with this scripture, and then with this song ( not a coincidence that it was on the same day ). He directed my eyes on His eyes and the clarity is AMAZING!!

We have four more days up here, and again, it's no coincidence that the weather forecast for the week is SUN, SUN, and more SUN!! It will be a beautiful week. My Jesus is so good to me. As this songs says, He wants me to "Come Away" with Him.... I am His Beloved.

I will rest in You, Jesus... With my eyes fixed on Yours.

Friday, March 18, 2011

I Am Gifted!

I remember being in junior high school and hearing about the G.A.T.E. program. It stood for "gifted and talented". It used to bother me, and not for reasons that you might suspicion. I wasn't envious of those who were in the program. It's true, I wasn't in the program. I was never asked to be... BUT... I wouldn't have accepted an invitation either.

The reason it bothered me was because even at the age of 12 I knew that EVERYONE has gifts and EVERYONE has talents. Having this "club" of sorts implied that any one not in the program wasn't gifted or talented. Or maybe they were, but not as much as the ones in the program.

As I've been reading, journaling and talking about this book 'One Thousand Gifts', the word "gift" has been ever present in my brain. I haven't just been thinking on what things gift me, but what are the ways I can gift others? What things can I do to make my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends feel like THEY have received a gift?

This week I have been sick with the flu. It is the worst flu that I have experienced in years! I'm sure there is a medical name for it, but I'm calling it the "One two PUNCH" bug! It comes, it acts like it's gone, then it attacks you again... HARD! I have been completely helpless. My children and even my husband have had this same bug, but I haven't been able to take care of them because I have been too sick with fever myself. We have all been doing our best to just take care of ourselves. In the midst of that though... There have been some who have done a beautiful job of gifting. These people may or may not have been in the program in junior high school. Regardless... They are gifted.

~ A friend offered to drive me to the doctor.

~ A friend brought a big pot of chicken soup over for dinner. This was so much bigger than she even knew because as I have been lying in bed, I have prayed over and over that I would just feel well enough to make some chicken soup for my family.

~ A friend sent an amazing note of encouragement. This friend is more a sister. She knows my heart, and she knew what my heart needed to hear.

~ My sister offered to drive almost an hour up here just to bring us more kleenex so that our noses wouldn't get too chapped from having to use tissue paper since we ran out of kleenex.

~ My hubby managed to keep the kitchen under control even though he was sick too. He recovered from his fever before me and he knew that keeping the kitchen up was important to me.

~ A friend offered to make a grocery trip for us.

We are all gifted. The question is, do we all take the time to use our gifts? There were many people in my life this week that showed me and taught me a lot about how to use the gifts that God has given me. They were the face, hands and feet of Jesus, and isn't that the point in using our gifts? It feels good to gift others and to receive gifts, but ultimately...

Gifting others should always resemble Jesus... not ourselves.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

A Moment

It is Thursday.

Driving boys here and there. I have driven the long and winding roads up and down this hill more than a half dozen times this week already. Laughter and silence have both filled my car while doing so. Talks about what's on the horizon. Talks about what now lies behind us.

Stirring the pot that sits on the burner. I have gone through the motions of preparing three meals a day for this army of men that I hold close to my heart. This troop that never stops eating! I do it with a happy heart most of the time because they are never anything but grateful for the food that fills their stomachs. All it takes is a smile on their face to please this mama cook.

Holding the youngest that still lets me. Snuggling with the two that feel they are too big to be held. Comforting their tired and worn out bodies as they have struggled to overcome yet another winter flu bug. Applying the Vicks rub to their chests, placing my hand upon their hot foreheads to check if they have cooled down yet. Praying over them as they lay their heads down to try to sleep... again.

Sorting, washing, drying and folding the multitudes of laundry. Noticing the smell of dirt as I pull them from the basket... And then the smell of clean as I pull them from the dryer. Seeing with my own eyes how they have grown so fast. The tiny little socks that once used to get stuck in the lint trap have grown into a size bigger than mine. The shirts no longer have cute little bugs or trains decorating their fronts. Instead, there are favorite baseball teams and silk screen guitars.

Sitting at the dining room table with my big bright pink pen. Correcting their school papers. It's easy to see where they have come so far, and then areas where there is still so far to go. I mark the papers with words of encouragement instead of those that imply failure. Every child deserves that. We sit and figure out where they went wrong. What step was missed... Perhaps even just forgotten. We learn what needs to be learned again until they get it correct on their own. Victory!

I tape the boxes shut. Boxes that hold belongings of ours. Boxes that hold... Home. I label them and stack them. They are to be moved in just a few short weeks. Those weeks will fly, I know. So much to be done still. So much to be packed and cleaned. I keep the roll of tape going.

All in a week's time. Every moment lived out. Every breath inhaled... Then exhaled. Every blink of an eye. It is the life that I live. A life that I have recently learned how to slow down and savor... Even in the chaos that surrounds me. This life that is being recorded.



Moment.... Written upon the pages of a journal.

Written upon the pages of my heart.

Thanksgiving... EVERY day.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I Love Boys!

If this were a bumper sticker... I'd have a few!

The boys came home from school today and watched a documentary film on this guy that illegally tight roped between the Twin Towers in New York City. Interesting film.

They turned the TV off, dressed themselves warmly, went outside and tied a rope between two trees and started the challenge of tight roping between the two tall pines.

Boys... They will try ANYTHING at least once! It doesn't matter how difficult it looks...

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Life Lessons From Copper

This morning I made pancakes for breakfast. Now, there are very few table foods we allow our dogs to have... Pancakes is one of them. Copper and Lucy can smell them the minute they hit the griddle! Copper obsesses with the thought of having one in his mouth the ENTIRE time I'm in the kitchen preparing them. His mouth drools, his eyes water... He can barely contain himself!

Luke decided to give him a little added gift this morning. After we were done eating our breakfast, he picked up Copper's pancake and smeared it with peanut butter. Copper did his usual "good boy" sit and stare down. I have to hand it to him... He does practice patience. Luke likes to make him wait a bit because we have been taught that it is good for a dog. It makes them appreciative and respectful of their owner.

Luke calmly put the pancake out under his tongue and told him "gennnnntle". He wanted to place the pancake peanut butter side down on his tongue so that he could get a real good taste. He allowed Copper to take the pancake.

I don't think the pancake even hit his tongue! I'm pretty sure that it went straight to the roof of his mouth, and then was pushed down his big throat BY his tongue without even so much as one single taste bud having the privilege of being inspired. WOW!

We all just laughed. He tilted his head at our laughter... Not sure about what was so funny.

Got me thinkin'.... That's what we often do. Instead of savoring the flavor, we consume in such a hurry. We have our eye on the prize. We wait patiently for the moment. We go through the torture of having the prize dangle in front of our very eyes. Then, in one little second it's here... It's gone... That's it. It's over.

Today I will savor this moment. For even the messy moments need to be savored. The prize is right in front of me. My mouth waters at the thought of claiming it. I want to taste it as it comes though.

I want to taste ALL of it.