Monday, July 30, 2012

So Much to Write, But so Little Time... For Now

There is much on my mind.

We just returned from a week's vacation up through Oregon, Washington and into Canada.

Exactly six days before we left, we moved.

Tomorrow we leave for San Francisco for a baseball game and to pick up Clement, our french exchange student that stayed with us last summer. He's coming for another visit, and his parents and younger brother are coming out to meet us in a couple of weeks.

Life is moving along here. It feels like summer just started, and yet it's ending (only officially, because school starts again INSANELY early)!

We are soaking up the moments. Trying not to let the smiles and laughter go un-noticed as we flow through each of these summer days.

I will write specifics later. I thought it might be easier if I leave a note to self about what I want to write about. You know, that's how a forty-something Mama of three boys operates... Lots of notes to self. :)

1. The move!

2. Vacation

3. More gratitude (always more)

4. The view from here

It could be a few days until I get around to undisturbed intimacy with my lap top. That's okay though.... The important thing for me is to have AS MANY undisturbed and intimate moments with my family.

I'll be back!

Saturday, July 7, 2012


  by Zoomama3
, a photo by Zoomama3 on Flickr.

Do you ever feel on the verge of something BIG? Maybe not something that you can actually put a finger on.... But something BIG?

Today I woke up with a heart that told me that more change is taking place. The change is beneath the surface though(at least for now it is). This change has a lot to do with preparation!

God is preparing us... He has allowed and then used disappointments and trials as tools to sow our hearts for what is to come. Disappointment is never any easy thing, but when you can see the purpose in it, it changes everything. Our oldest has demonstrated this beautifully this week. He has taught his Mama some very fine lessons and brought me to my knees with a desire to honor my Father and the will that He has for my children.

Lucas has shown me what rising above looks like. God has shown me that there is much to be done... Lots of preparing to do.

So full of gratitude today.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

What I Have Learned

This morning I woke up to a very quiet and still house. It was very early, and I embraced the time to just lie still in bed and think. The very first thoughts that came to my mind were about this house we have been living in.

We have spent almost six months here. In that time, I have spent a lot of time complaining about this place. I have taken every opportunity even remotely given to gripe about something related to this house! Truth is, I have learned a lot here.

I have learned more about each one of our boys. There's not a whole lot of space here, so we are forced to be right on top of each other. It's like they have been under a microscope for me to see. I have seen a lot of good, but I have also seen areas that as parents, we have neglected. We have been able to get down to the nitty gritty on several occasions.

This house has taught me more about my relationship with my husband. It has shown me what husband and wife are capable of when there is discontentment. I have seen things happen in my marriage that I have prayed about for many years. We are a team... Ready to live strong and fight to the finish.

In keeping with a policy of honesty though, I have to say that I have learned mostly about myself. I am not as flexible as I thought I was. Despite my desire NOT to be, I am a person who isn't easy to satisfy. Largely, I haven't felt satisfied here. It's hard to pin point where that comes from too. I don't know if it's necessarily the size of the home, or that because of it's many broken things I could never make it feel like home. J and I were never too interested in fixing what has been broken, but neither has our landlord. Thus, the desire to stay never really happened. Sure, we had decided to stay out of obedience, but our true heart feelings were never there. Looking back, I wish that I had prayed more about a different attitude though. I wish that I would have been a better example of humility and flexibility for my children.

Lesson learned.

This journey is far from over still. We have another two years of renting to do. God has done and He will continue to do what He finds necessary in our lives. Because of what I have learned in this little place that has been home to us for the past six months, I have the capability of being a better wife, mom and person. I pray that I won't lose sight of these lessons and that they remain fresh for a long time.

I pray that the same microscope that has been over my boys will be over MYSELF and that I wouldn't be negligent, but that I would always be getting down to the nitty gritty with me.

I'm so grateful for what I have learned here. He continues to show me.... There is purpose in everything.