Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Journey

I am trying something new. I am posting this using my new iPad that my honey bought me for Christmas. That means that my middle finger of my right hand is gaining new muscle above the rest of my fingers. :0) Touch pad is tricky, people.

So the other day I was thinking about this journey we have been on.... New schools, new homes, new friends, etcetera. This question popped into my head...

Where are we journeying TO?

The quickest answer I came to was, well, our final destination of course.... Our "final" home, school,etc.. But then I began to hear something else whispered in my ear. This journey that I am on, that my husband and our three sweet boys are on.... It's a journey to knowing and trusting Christ more. At the end of all of this we will ALL have a different relationship with Jesus. We are learning to let Him walk ahead of us each day. We are learning to hold His hand. We are learning that our ways aren't always His ways.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
Be thankful in everything, for this is christ's will for you.

We are learning to find gratitude in all circumstances. Gratitude in boxes being packed and unpacked again. Gratitude in being the new kid on campus half way through freshman year. Gratitude brings worship, and worship brings hope.

Hope brings strength.

The journey continues and it remains sweet. Thank you all for your prayers. They are felt EVERY day!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Sovereign Presence

" Approach this day with awareness of who is boss. As you make plans for the day, remember that it is I who orchestrate the events of your life. On days when things go smoothly, according to your plans, you may be unaware of My sovereign Presence. On days when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different from what you expected. It is essential at such times to stay in communication with Me, accepting My way as better than yours. Don't try to figure out what is happening. Simply trust Me and thank Me in advance for the good that will come out of it all. I know the plans I have for you, and they are good."~ Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

I have spent my entire morning driving from one high school to withdraw Lucas to another high school where we enrolled him. We have prayed continuously over this decision. It is not a decision that we came to quickly or that we have taken lightly. Last night, this was our daily devotional. We read it as a family and I could not help but KNOW that these are the words that the Lord wanted me to hear over and over in my head as I went about my day today going forward with multitudes of paperwork for Lucas' transfer.

He starts at his new school tomorrow. Please pray for him.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tender Hearts

"Mom, will you read me a story tonight?"

We snuggle deep inside the gift of warm blankets. Just he and I. I hold his favorite. A big yellow hard bound collection of Curious George. As I read, I'm also thinking.... Remembering.

We get to page five and he stops me.

"Mom, do you think when I get older and I'm a dad that 'The man with the yellow hat' will have a name? Will he be called something different?"

I chuckle and then give him an unexpected answer. No, his name will still be 'The man with the yellow hat'. That's what it's always been... Even since I was a young girl reading these very same books.

His eyes grow large as he tries to picture me as one his own age, snuggled in tight with his Grandma or Papa. I get distracted as I watch him smile. We finish reading and then I just hold him tight. He's the youngest. The other two have stopped asking me to read to them. Caleb asks still, and I am thrilled.

Such a sweet and innocent heart beats inside the chest of my youngest man.


The boys and I travel up the highway a bit to visit a place that has become special. It's a home for patients who have been diagnosed with severe memory loss. I consider it to be one of the sweetest places I know. We walk in with Lucy (our small poodle) marching in front of us. They know our faces and ask if we would like the code to get in and out of the door since we are "regulars" now. I feel a sense of honor. Through this big secure door we walk into a different world. Everyone is happy... Over joyed actually. They love to see children and pets too. Nobody appears to be sick. There are only smiles and greetings. Several greetings. They may have just said hello and met you with names, but by the time introductions are over, they have forgotten and the introductions start all over again.

We find ourselves in the dining room soon. I circle the room. I bend on one knee and take the hands of many, one at a time, and tell them how they bless my life just by knowing them. Lucas and Colby go to the beautiful grand piano that stands in the corner. They sit down and play a few fun things for these people who have stolen our hearts. The people applaud and the boys laugh. Caleb leads Lucy around the room and brings more smiles to faces as Lucy gets spoiled with hugs. Lucas and Colby spread their charm person to person. They sit and listen as the stories begin to spill from the residents' minds. They aren't the best at remembering two minutes ago, but they remember two decades ago like it was just yesterday. The history that is within these walls is remarkable! As conversations unfold, the sound of piano keys fills the room again. I look to the piano and see that one of the patients is playing. What a treat! I am told by the director that 'M' doesn't play anymore. She used to sing opera and she used to play the piano non-stop, but she can no longer read music and she cannot remember any music either. This is a rare moment. The boys smile, knowing that they had something to do with it since they had just played at that same piano. A lump forms well within my throat as I see the effect that these people have had on the hearts of my children.

Their hearts are tender. Their world is bigger as they are witnessing a community of people who are tucked safely into this very blessed home made especially for them. My boys ask to go visit this place. They even have "favorites" that they like to sit and chat with. The boys know that they will not be remembered from one visit to the next, but that doesn't matter to them. They just want to go and love these people. Oh, and may I just say how these people love them back! It is a sight to behold.

We leave through the big door and load into the car. The boys grab my cell phone and call their dad to tell them all the new stories and memories of the day. I drive back down the highway, leaving a bit of me behind within those walls. They steal hearts there, ya' know.

We will go back. It won't be long before they ask me to take them back, and we will travel up the highway again.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Ready For Change!

I have had the same header photo on this blog since it's "birth". Let's see, I think I began posting here in 2007, so that's FIVE years!

I have had the same blog background for possibly more than a year. I haven't kept track of such things, but I'm pretty close to sure that it's been way too long.

I went back and read some of my old posts last week when I had a little free time. It was interesting to say the least. Every word is truth... heart felt. Every word written was part of my own cheap option of therapy. Every word though, sounds strangely the same. I know it's not. Situations in the past and in the present are very different. My reaction{s} have been eerily similar though. It set my mind in motion.

It's time for some change.

So, today marks a "re-birth" of this journal of life. There's so much to catch up on. Stuff that I've been neglecting because of the rut I've been stuck in.

Stuck no more! I'm excited about this clump of salt that I've let go of, and the change that is taking place in my life.

Much more to come...

Monday, January 9, 2012

Letting Go of Salt

I just returned from picking everyone up from their first day back at school. It was a busy day for all of us, but a good day. Lots of time traveling back and forth in the car. A few loads of laundry, some grocery shopping, packing, etcetera.

I heard a story on K-Love today that grabbed my heart BIG time! I thought I would share it....

In the African jungles, baboons are hunted for their meat. Personally, I think this particular animal would be especially difficult to hunt. However, the people there that hunt them have discovered a "fool proof" way to capture their meal. They dig a hole about the size of a human fist into the trunk of a tree. Then they put salt inside of the hole. The scent of the salt is a strong attractant for the baboon. They come to the tree and immediately begin stuffing their large fists into the hole to get the salt. What they don't know is that getting their fists out with the salt is much too hard. Instead of leaving the salt behind, they hold onto it. They REFUSE to let it go! They will stay at that tree for days and become starved and dehydrated all in the name of not letting go of something that they really want. The hunter comes back to capture their prey. From a distance, they are able to kill the baboon who is weak and still refusing to let go. Pretty incredible, isn't it? This animal literally lays his life down for something as small as a clump of salt... Because that salt is what he HAS TO HAVE!

The story grabbed my heart because I have been like the baboon in the African jungle. My fist has been wrapped around a clump of salt. I have experienced starvation and dehydration in the name of not letting go.

About a week ago, we received news that we attained a new home. I say "home" and not house because it will be home, not just a house. For the first few days, I threw a fit like a little two year old. It wasn't the home I planned it to be! There were too many things that I didn't like about it. Not enough of this, and too much of that. What I failed to see at first was that it was the door that had opened for us... Exactly what we had been specifically praying for! Maybe I would have seen that earlier if I wasn't so focused on holding on to the clump of salt.

Eventually I let go of the salt. I began to nourish myself with The Word. I turned my music up in the car and worshipped with my hands held high ( I know, not the safest). My body, mind and slowly my soul began to feel hydrated again and ready to proceed with the unwrapping of this gift from the Lord.

And this is where I'm at today.

I'm so grateful for God's mercy and grace once again. I fail, and He comforts and teaches me in the process.

In just three short weeks we will be in our new home. I will be making another house our home. I can't wait to share more about it...

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Little Parenting Lesson

I LOVED this show as a young girl! I remember being excited about watching it every Thursday evening. I specifically remember watching this particular episode. I, of course sided with Theo. When the studio audience clapped, I was right there with them... Clapping in the comforts of my own living room. Today, things are a little different. Who knew that all these years later I would view a clip of this show on someone else's blog and find such a HUGE amount of wisdom in such a short 3 minute-ish clip?

Dr. Huxtable.... Thank you. You put the words into eloquent beauty. ;0)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


It is morning and the house is quiet. Hubby went back to work this morning after being off since Christmas. The boys are all three still sleeping in their beds... They have one more week off. It is just me and the sounds of the heater coming on and the clicking of these computer keys.... Along with all the noise in my head. This is one of those times when there are so many things going through this brain of mine. I'm not sure where to start. Thus the title... Ramblings.

Christmas was beautiful. We stayed home and celebrated with each other and the few friends and family members that popped in throughout the day. It was very nice. It was so sweet to see the boys just relax and explore their new things. Caleb especially benefited from it since he assembled his new mosquito rocket AND set it off at the school up the street from us. He came home with a HUGE grin! I missed out on this one since I was here entertaining guests. I'm hoping to witness a little rocket action this week.

After Christmas we took a day trip down to San Francisco. We had lunch at Boudin's down at the wharf and then took the cable cars up to Union Square. We walked around a bit up there, had coffee and then loaded the cable cars again to ride back down to the wharf where our car was. It was TRULY a San Fran experience! We learned lots about riding the cable cars that day... Starting with NICE PEOPLE DON'T GET ON!!! We actually had to instruct the boys to push their way onto the car after we waited in line to get a car and then watched as people who had just walked up to the curb grab the car instead of us... THREE times!!

New Year's Eve was also a sweet time. We started the night by joining a bunch of our neighbors for a progressive dinner. After making it through three courses, the boys had had enough and what they were really craving was being cozy at home doing our annual ritual of watching the ball drop on TV. This year was a special treat as we got to see Lady Gaga in all of her weirdness sporting some kind of octopus costume while prancing around the stage with song. Wait... Can an octopus really prance? I know, WEIRD! Anyhow, it was neat to see that the boys still don't need all the hoopla and party life. They still are pretty simple beings. I love them.

We also did plenty of house hunting over the last week or so. It has been difficult. We have prayed for doors to close and doors to open. It seems that doors are opening to a house that for selfish reasons I'm not crazy about. The Lord is at work here in this heart of mine people. If this is indeed the door that we will walk through, then I know that there will be more change ahead... LOTS of change. To be totally honest, I am scared and excited all at the same time. It's a strange emotion. The other night though, I had this dream. In my dream, I was instructing a class room full of kiddos to open up their bibles and turn to Ephesians 5:16. I told them to write (in their best handwriting of course) the scripture down in their journals. When I woke up, I remembered the dream. I remembered the scripture, but I didn't know what the scripture actually said. It's not one I've committed to memory. So, I grabbed my bible and looked it up. I truly thought it would be something about submitting to my husband since I know Ephesians 5 is known for that. I went to bed the night before feeling that part of the problem with my attitude concerning the house was that I wasn't submitting to the needs of my husband. It wasn't that though. This is what it said...

"... Making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil." ~ Ephesians 5:16

What??? Like I said, God has a demolition crew working on my heart. He's apparently found it sometimes easier to speak to me when I'm asleep since my spirit is actually quiet then. Hmmm...

So now I get to enjoy the rest of my Christmas break with my boys. Well, if they ever get out of bed! For all of you moms out there with little ones that wake you up in the darkness of the morning... Trust me.... It doesn't last. Luke used to wake up EVERY morning between 5:30 and 6:00am. We would start our days SO early. These days we are lucky to see them in front of their breakfast by 9am when given the opportunity to sleep.

I plan on doing more writing here this week too. I really think it would be especially therapeutic this year to jot down a few goals for 2012. I'm not a resolution person, but I DO like goals.