Tuesday, February 11, 2014

All Is Grace

In the end, that's exactly what it is... All grace.

Everyday I make decisions. Some are good, some are bad. I hesitated there for a minute... I didn't want to type "bad". I wanted to put "not so good", but really... Some decisions are bad.

Everyday I respond to life. As I age, I try to respond in more responsible, glorifying ways. Admittedly, I am getting better, but still... Sometimes I really fail at responding to life in a way that is pleasing to others and ultimately, to Jesus.

Everyday I simply mess up. My mess ups aren't always evident to others. A lot of times, my mess ups occur inside of my own heart. I catch myself thinking about something or someone in a way that is NOT positive. People hurt people, and my way of dealing with it a lot of times is to bury it. If my hurt is caused by the same person/people consistently, I bury it. Almost always, I try going to that person and sharing my heart to begin with, but too many failed attempts at being heard cause me to start digging and burying.

I have heard words lately that sting to the core.

All Is Grace.

Jesus extends this grace to me everyday. He pours it over me in all of my decisions, responses, and mess ups. He never stops. He doesn't bury my failures. He covers them. A long time ago He covered them literally with His own blood, and today? Today He continues to do the same.

My heart is heavy with the fact that a lot of times I am not so good at offering grace to others who deserve it no less than I do. Did you catch that? I wrote "not so good". No.... I really SUCK at it a lot of times. I justify in my own head that I have offered up that person's limit of grace. Their grace bank is empty... Moving on now. Time to bury and move on.

Do I want to be someone known for this character? Absolutely not! This is an area of my life that needs refining. I have gone here before too. It's a painful place. I have asked the Lord to improve my character in certain places, and He always does. He can't do it without supplying plenty of opportunities though. I am in the middle of that right now. I am in the refiner's fire, and it is painful.

Grace is here though. It is here to be received. It is here to be extended and to be poured over others.

All IS grace... And grace is all.