Thursday, November 18, 2010

Coming Up For Air

For the past almost month, I have felt like I've been treading water. My legs have been kicking, my arms flailing, my mouth gasping. If you could see inside of my brain, it would look like a bunch of jumbled up thoughts, to do's... a WALL of emotions!! Almost nothing on my regular everyday list of things to do has been completed { with the exception of laundry, because we all have to have clean clothes to wear }.I go to bed at night thinking that the next day will be different. I will get up and tackle the day as I'm so used to doing. Then.... the wall floods me.

Today is different. Today I feel like the flood is starting to subside. I am up and I am dealing with the emotions in a healthy way and I'm determined to take baby steps toward "normalcy". I have a long list to tackle now, so I have to accept the fact that I'll be behind for awhile, but I will get to the end of that list... soon.

One thought that has kept me going is this:

Don't postpone JOY.

I saw these words on a bumper sticker when I came out of my uncle's memorial service. They resonate in my heart. I have written them on a framed chalk board that hangs in my dining room. These three words say a lot. They tell me to hang onto every moment. They tell me to stop putting off what God has called of me and my family. They say there's always reason to be happy, especially when it's the hardest thing to be. These words have become a part of me and I hope they always will be.

I believe that if I believe in these words, and I live my life as one who doesn't discount the joy that God graces my life with every day, then I will be a better person. I want to be a better person. I want to be the kind of person that shines light in this world. I want to stop treading and start swimming.... with a broad and even stroke.

Don't postpone JOY.

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