Tuesday, November 30, 2010

First Snow... Last Winter

I read a few of my own blog pages the other day... WOW, do I ever sound like a bucket full of laughs! HA! :0) It's been a weird month, friends. Between losing a family member unexpectedly, my sister's wedding, a holiday and a move on the horizon, my mind and heart have been so occupied.

We experienced our first snow of the season about a week and a half ago. It's been so cold since then that there is still snow on the ground. Not a huge amount, and of course now it really isn't snow, (it's ice) but it's still pretty to look at. I was driving home from errands today, and as I looked out at the pretty sights, I thought it was time to finally put into words here what all of this doom and gloom stuff here has been about.

We are putting our house up for sale this week. The reasons are many, and it's definitely a BIG picture, not a small one, but it is the step we are taking. It's been a very hard decision. It's been a decision that has been prayed over countless times. With that prayer has come confirmation that we are taking the journey that He wants us to take. We are on the right path.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about all of this. Mainly, I feel like I will be leaving much behind. It's more than leaving precious friendships behind. I know that the ones that are dear to me, and I to them will remain that way. We are only moving about half an hour away. The sweet memories are what I will leave behind. Our boys have grown up here. Their little red wagon is still in the back yard (I already informed J that it WILL go with us... even though nobody rides in it anymore). Their tree fort is outside my kitchen window. The garden that we have re-planted every year sits patiently waiting for us to turn the soil once again in the spring. The cozy wood stove where I have snuggled countless times with the boys while reading to them can't go with us. Neither can the full wrap around deck from which I have watched them all learn how to ride a bike, run through sprinklers, and almost kill themselves on skate boards. I don't feel like I'm just leaving these memories behind... I feel like I'm leaving my three boys' young childhoods behind. I know, it's weird, but I'm a woman... I'm a mom. We are strange creatures.

With all of this being said, I also feel comforted about this change. Like I said before, I feel HUGE amounts of confirmation about the move. I know God has some great things in store for us next. The bounty will be different, but it will still be bounty. I have spoken here before about not putting off the joy that God wants to bless us with. In my heart, I know there is such joy coming. I already feel the joy. It is currently mixed with fear, but it is there even still.

I can actually say that I am excited. So those of you who don't know me very well don't know what a HUMONGOUS statement that is, but even 6 months ago I was still a person so paralyzed by any kind of change (or prospect of it) that something like this would have sent me into a coma!! God is growing me. He is working on those little (or big) areas of my life. That feels good.

I feel like I'm growing up all over again.

I have started praying for this next home of ours. I do not know exactly where it is. I do not know what it looks like. I do not know anything about it except this... It will be perfect.

It will be perfect because it will be right where God wants us to be. There will be purpose there. It will be a home that will bless us, and it will bless others.


G. Holbrook said...

First of all...GREAT song! ...and second..."O Lord, You alone are my hope. I've trusted you, O Lord, from childhood. Yes, You have been with me from birth; from my mother's womb You have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising You!" -Psalm 71:5-6
Tami, this post is worship! I know that Papa is so pleased. I love you sister!

Dad said...

About a year ago, I sent you this quote, which is one of my very favorites. After reading this post, the quote bears repeating.

"To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God molds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control." - Henri Nouwen

I love you,

Chalk Inscriptions said...

I think you should have warned me that I would need kleenex when I read your blog. That was so beautiful about your memories. God will give new memories in the next chapter of your life and hang onto the ones made thus far with your beautiful family! That is what made me desire to live in the country again...wonderful memories of growing up on land. Great family times! Thank you for sharing!