Last week was a stressful one.
My hubby and I looked at no less than half a dozen houses in a matter of three days. That may not seem like a lot to some of you, but when you consider the fact that both of us had regular work days, boys to shuttle back and forth to school and after school events, meals to prepare and piles of laundry to deal with... It was overwhelming!
It was a discouraging journey too. Over half of the houses we looked at were dumps! Seriously, I don't understand how people can get away with charging ANY amount of money for something that looks rat infested and moldy. But they do, and someone out there will take them up on their offer. The other houses were nice. They were average homes. Nothing extraordinary. The rent? Well, it was more like a mortgage payment! WOW... What has happened in the past 9 months? Rentals have gone bizerkos!
During these few days as we ran around looking and quarreling about all of this, I kept hearing the word WAIT. At first I pushed this word aside. It kept crawling back into my mind, but I pushed harder. It came in the form of just a whisper in my ear. It came through phone conversations with friends. It even came in a text from a friend... In scripture. The Lord was working hard at forcing me to stop and hear the word WAIT. Finally, I listened. I told J that I would support him if he felt he needed to keep looking, but that I needed to be obedient to what God was pressing upon me and WAIT. I informed him that I needed to stop being his partner in crime cruising daily (sometimes even hourly) through the Craigslist ads, property management web site, etc.. I believed that WAITING was something that I was supposed to do. God has this in His hands.
Saturday morning J and the boys went to a men's breakfast at church. I had the house to myself for the entire morning. I did some cleaning and baking. It was a sweet time. I spent time with Jesus the whole morning! Like a brick wall, it hit me. I knew what I needed to talk to hubby about. The word WAIT came to me because I needed to surrender. I needed to surrender ALL!
Since the beginning of this, people asked if we would just stay in this house while it was on the market. My response was "NO!" with a chuckle attached. There was no way I was going to live here, clean the house everyday just in case someone came by to view it, or drop everything and leave at a moment's notice so that a realtor could bring clients by. That's a lot of work! I know this because I just did it less than a year ago! I did it for us though. I did it to sell OUR house, not someone else's. I was almost insulted when people asked me if we would do this for our land lady. After all... She pretty much stunned us with this decision to sell the house now. I admit my sinful ways... I was angry with her for many reasons. I viewed living here with all of MY decor touches as helping her, and that was NOT something I was willing to do. Period.
When J and the boys came home from the breakfast on Saturday, I pulled my hubby aside. I told him that I thought I knew now why this word WAIT became so prevalent. I took a deep breath because I knew after I said what I needed to say, there was no going back. I told him that I was ready to surrender. I was willing to stay here while the house was up for sale. I would keep the house clean. I would gather all of us and leave whenever we needed to so that a realtor could come into our home and lead strangers around our things. I told him that maybe we were supposed to WAIT here. In return for this life inconvenience, we have asked our land lord for lower rent while it's on the market. We will ask that it be a mandatory 60 day escrow to give us time to find another place to live. I believe that the Lord will provide something else for us that will be well worth this WAIT.
It's not that I don't believe that the Lord is capable of providing something worth the WAIT now. He can, and He will if that is what He wants to do. Our land lady hasn't even given us an answer yet. We don't have any plan still. However, I did what God needed me to do. I let go of anger and I surrendered completely. This is His... Not mine.
A home to live in with my family, whether here or somewhere else will be worth the WAIT. Peace in my soul today... Worth the WAIT. God is good!