Thursday, June 7, 2012

His Face

Seek my face, and you will find fulfillment of your deepest longings. My world is filled with beautiful things; they are meant to be pointers to Me, reminders of My abiding Presence. The earth still declares My Glory to those who have eyes that see and ears that hear.

You had a darkened mind before you sought Me wholeheartedly. I chose to pour My Light into you, so that you can be a beacon to others. There is no room for pride in this position. Your part is to reflect My Glory. I am Lord! ~ Jesus Calling {June 6}

I started this week with a mind that was darkened. As I chose to let the Lord's Glory shine into me, I could literally FEEL my eyes and ears begin to open to what God has for me. I am a person who mostly speaks to God quietly. I might pray silently, or meditate while driving. I write my prayers down on paper. Sometimes I talk to the Lord while singing, but that's about as loud as I normally get with my conversations with Him. The other day I sat on my couch in the complete quiet of a house empty of all others. I sat there and I completely lost it. I began to cry out to Him. My voice was loud and filled with emotion as I talked to HIm and told him of all of my failures, all of my gratitude for Him and the grace that He allows me, and all of my requests for a change of my heart. As my step sister put it in a post here, I want to die to self and live more freely in His presence. I want to be in communion with Him. When I am there, I am less concerned about here.

What gets in the way of my being there?


My thinking that I need this, or that I deserve that prevents me from achieving total communion and rest. For many months now, I have felt a stirring in my life. Everything that I have known and felt comfort with has gradually been stripped. It has been easy for me to feel pity on myself because of this. I get angry and experience hurt when I think of everything that I have "lost". I start the vicious circle of questioning all of the whys. The root of all of this is pride though. As Jesus Calling so simply put it in yesterday's devotion... There is no room for pride in my position.

I am one who has known who Jesus is since a very young age. I have known who He is, and I have seen and felt who He is as I have developed a relationship with my Jesus through womanhood. Jesus has called me into a position where I am supposed to be a beacon to others. The circumstances that surround me from my past to this present time are circumstances that He has given so that I would have stories to share of Him and His goodness and faithfulness.

There is a lot that doesn't make sense right now. As my mom pointed out just this week though... There have been other times in my life when things just didn't make sense either. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't understand all of the whys! Today I do though. Today those circumstances from the past make sense to me, and because of that, I know that today's circumstances will one day make sense also. Do I need to worry about making sense now? No. Should I let pride ruin my opportunity to be the beacon that God has made of me? No.

When I seek His face, there is rest.

When I seek His face, pride melts away.

When I seek His face, the story unfolds and my hands are open instead of clenched.

This life is a gift.

Every. Single. Chapter. Of. It.

1 comment:

Mom RS said...

Simply beautiful