Wednesday, April 30, 2014

April 30, 2014

The smell here is familiar, yet distant. Sterile, of course being the one word I find most useful to describe the height of all of my senses.

The men and women in blue-green scrubs rushing from hallway to hallway remind me of the day that Luke entered our lives. That day was almost seventeen years ago. Today, of course is a much different day. Today I am separated from my son by many doors and many hallways. There are highly trained doctors and nurses by his side, but I sit here in a waiting room.

It was a surreal moment before they took him. I sat by his bedside and took his very clammy, shaky hand in mine. This boy that has become a man became a boy again before my eyes. I even saw his lip quiver a couple of times, this sixteen year old fighting back his true emotions. He didn't cry, but I know on the inside, there were big crocodile tears flooding him. I held that hand tight and assured him that you're never too old to need your mom. Even I, at the age of 42 came out of my own surgery not that long ago asking for my mom. A smile spread across his face.

My prayers for my son today are mighty ones. God knows the desires of our hearts. He knows what the outcome of this surgery will be already. My patience is being tested to a new level today as I wait in this big sterile room for my patient. My heart is at peace though. I love this boy more than words can say, but my Jesus loves and cherishes him even more.

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