Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
I sat and prayed with my boys yesterday. We do that often, but yesterday was different. We are ALL feeling weighed down with frustration over waiting. We were supposed to have keys to our new house weeks ago, but we sit and wait still.
For me, I take some comfort in knowing that there is purpose in this wait. Even as we sat and prayed together yesterday, I explained to my three young men how the times in my life that I have had to wait on the Lord have been my most defining moments. It was these periods of time that developed character in me and added truth to who I say I am.
If I'm going to be honest, then I have to share that during these days (actually weeks now) I have questioned the purpose. I have looked for it and tried my very best to figure it out. Last week I told others that maybe the purpose in it was that the Lord wanted me to experience and enjoy summer with my boys BEFORE the move. He knows me. He knows how easily I become obsessed with making my home. I'm a nester. So, He wanted to allow time before we moved in for us to spend some fun summer days together. That was the purpose I found last week.
This week I feel differently. I am still enjoying these summer days with my boys, but this week I feel that it's less about fun, and more about feeling the pain of the wait. It's that pain that will refine me... And it will refine these growing young men too. Yesterday I told myself, and I shared with the boys, that every time I wanted to speak or think some negative thought, I needed to stop myself and just pray.
Pray for peace in the wait.
Pray for endurance.
Pray for God's perfect timing to be perfect enough for me, for my sinful heart wants to deny His perfect timing.
It's tempting to hide myself away in my cave. I am afraid to answer calls or texts. I am even more afraid to actually see people. I don't want to try to answer people's questions about why we still don't have keys. The truth is, I don't know why. Maybe I'm not supposed to hide though. Maybe a part of the refining that is happening in me needs to be more public. Maybe my reaction to this mess of sorts is significant.
Last week I texted this photo to my mom who was out on the east coast visiting in laws. I wrote these words on a framed chalk board back in April when we opened escrow. This board still hangs on my living room wall. Everything else has been removed and packed, but not this one. It hangs as a daily reminder. My mom texted back words that have stuck with me. She wrote back:
" Superman got nothin' on you, honey!"
I hope that at the end of this, that still rings true. I pray that I can take each day with God's sufficient amount of grace. I want to take that grace and apply it to whatever comes my way.
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