So I'm a little behind.
The words have been making themselves at home inside of my head and heart, but my fingers aren't too good at staying on top of these pages anymore. I want to continue writing here. I really do feel that it is important... Especially during these days. months, and years of raising teens.
It's early, and the house is quiet, so I will start again this morning.
Yesterday was my sweet Colby's 15th birthday. That's actually what motivated me to come back to these pages. A long time ago I started writing birthday letters to my boys here. This year, I unintentionally skipped over Caleb's birthday last month. I will have to come back to his soon. He will have a little belated birthday surprise! With these few quiet moments though... I want to write to you, Colby.
Happy birthday! Your hopes of becoming an adult are quickly coming to their end, for you are almost there. For the longest time now, you have been the one that has been a little impatient with your childhood. You have always had big dreams and bigger things motivating you into adulthood. My prayer for you this year is that you will discover that childhood is now almost a distant thing, and that you will embrace what you have left of it. There are many things to looks forward to as you become an adult, but there is something so magical about being young and figuring out who you are, what your gifts are, and who you will be. Be where you're at, Colby. Don't let a single moment pass you by unnoticed.
You are one who has always had something important to say. I shared with you a couple of weeks ago that some people talk just to talk. You are not one of those. Often times you are silent, but when you speak, people listen because what you have to share is good and worth hearing. I've always seen this as a strength of yours, but never as much as I do today. I see you with your peers and I know that as long as you are being obedient to God's calling to share what you know to be true, then you will be the leader of that pack. I know that doing this isn't always easy. In fact, I don't know if it's ever easy. It's much easier to take the road most traveled and be the "typical" teenager. You are not that though. Please always know that and act upon it. Apply the gift of leadership that has been given to you.
I've seen the look on your face as you compare yourself to others. You've decided not to play sports this year, and I think you made this decision for good reasons, but it breaks my heart to think that maybe ONE of those reasons is because you think you're not good enough. The world we live in is often times a cruel world when it comes to comparison. We are told though, that we were "knit together perfectly", so there is no room for comparison. You cannot compare perfection with anything else. You are perfect! Can I just share something with you? The way your mind works with your hands to create such beautiful lines and color and make them into something so fabulous is incredible to me! When I was younger, at one time I thought I might want to be an artist. Even now, I love the feeling of creating. I love having a paint brush in my hands and making something new, or look new. I, however wasn't naturally gifted with this. There are basic things I can do with a pencil or brush, but nothing anything close to what you can do. You are doing something I have ALWAYS wanted to have the ability to do! God gave you this gift, Colby. I pray that you will always use it to His glory.
When you came to me last spring and asked me to school you at home this year, I was surprised. Actually, I think you were surprised! After prayer, we decided to take this leap. I'm going to keep it real here. It hasn't been easy. I know that you would agree. We have had our fair share already of "technical difficulties" with the curriculum, and the overall idea of homeschooling a high schooler. There have been more hard days than easy days since we started. Last week though.... It finally felt good. It seems we have found our groove. As I have been praying myself through these days though, I have heard the Lord telling me this: " Just enjoy him. Love him. Know him. This is an opportunity I have given you to be WITH your sweet son. Take this gift with open hands and learn about him." So this is the attitude I am schooling you with this year, son. It's still about math, and language arts and all of that stuff. BUT... It's more about us... About accepting this gift of you and ALL of who you are and coaching you through these teen years into this next stage that you have been so excited to enter into... Adulthood.
I love you with all of my heart Colby. Everyday you are a sweet reminder of God's goodness to me. You have an incredible amount to offer the world... So many gifts and talents. Be BIG Colby! Be bigger than the ugliness that sometimes tries to get in front of you and tell you lies. That's satan, not your Maker talking to you. Your Maker sees you as perfectly knit together.
I love you,