Monday, June 2, 2008

loss

I have heard about and experienced a lot about this word... loss. There must be a reason why this word has been such a big part of life lately. I'm not trying to understand the reason this time. I just go with it and pray through it. I'd like to share with you what I've been praying about recently. It is my hope that you will join me in praying about these things too.

First of all, a friend shared a web site with me about a month ago. The address for this web site is audreycaroline.blogspot.com. Let me just warn you... do NOT go to this site without a lot of time and a big box of kleenex! The site is a blog that is being written by a mother who lost her baby girl in April. I do not know this woman, and yet I feel that I HAVE known her all my life. I encourage you to get to know her as well. It will change who you are today.

She is a stranger... she has experienced loss.

This woman is dealing with her grief in a remarkable way! She is the "good soil" that is talked about in the book of Luke, chapter 8. A seed has been planted in her life. It's a seed that was very much unwanted, and yet she is cultivating it for so much good. Through her loss, so many people have found themselves on their knees (some for the very first time), speaking to a Father who loves them, understands them... knows them MORE than anyone here on this earth. She is grieving while accepting her role in this bigger picture... God's purpose in all of this.

I have a very dear friend that I have known since high school. I met her in our high school youth group at church. She has been through a lot during her life time. I have prayed for her continuously for many years. Although we met in youth group, due to lots of different circumstances... she doesn't allow faith in Jesus to be a part of her life right now. I have faith though... enough for both of us. She is experiencing loss. Loss is not a stranger to her, and because of that, her grief is different. I love her so much and I wish I could carry 100% of this loss for her, but I can't. Truth is... God doesn't want that. As I pray for her now, I feel that He wants to use this loss to bring her "home". Please pray with me.

Pray that her heart will be softened.

Pray that she will hear the whispers of the Father, and feel the warmth of His embrace as He carries her through this loss.

Finally, my sister leaves tomorrow to work at a camp in Hawaii for two months... and then she's off to Philadelphia to pursue her master's degree. My sister has been gone for short amounts of time before. Although I've been bummed out about that, I've never been really sad... until now. My sister is an incredible person who has a heart for God and helping others. I feel honored to know her and call her "sis". I am sad to see her go this time because in my heart I feel that she won't be back this time. She'll be back for visits and holidays here and there... but I don't feel that she will be living close by any longer. God gave her such HUGE wings and she's going out to put them to good use. I'm going to miss her so much! Some people have thought that we couldn't possibly be that close since there are 11 years between us, but quite honestly... they couldn't be any MORE wrong. My sister is one of my closest friends. She is someone that I share pretty much everything with. Please pray for her.

Pray that she is kept safe.

Pray that she is able to use all of her many gifts in ways that glorify her maker.

Pray that all of us who will miss her so much aren't left feeling this huge loss in our lives, but rather a sense of peace about the path that she is taking.

God has purpose in everything. Sometimes it isn't easy for me to understand my circumstances,or the circumstances of those I love, but I'm realizing that it's not always meant for me to understand. Sometimes it's just another way of my Father bringing me in. When I pray, whether it be in quiet solitude or in a noisy car while listening to the words of my Casting Crowns CD (I love this one... it's AWESOME), I find peace and rest. The tears came today as I prayed for my friend and for my sister. They weren't tears of sorrow though.

They were tears of hope.... Tears for what is going to come.

2 comments:

The Holbrook Family said...

My sweet friend Tami,
I just want you to know how much I love you. Thank you for sharing your heart. Please, let's spend time together this summer sharing, and praying, and watching our boys-all six of them-enjoying friendship together as they do so well! God's peace my sis.!
Gi

Bob Sweat said...

Ok, I finally figured out what I was doing wrong, so now I can post.

This thread made me cry. Listening to the Casting Crowns song only intensified the tears. Not complaining, because I need that outlet once in awhile.

Loss is a four letter word that visits everyone many times during the course of their lifetime. Most times, loss is sommething we have no control over. But then there are times when the loss is a consequence of something that could have been avoided.

Either case, sometimes all we have to hold on to is Jesus. And really, that should be enough.