Tuesday, January 20, 2009
He's Not Finished With Me Yet
Today was Tuesday, but in so many ways, it was Monday. Yesterday was a holiday, so I guess I can blame it on that. I can also blame it on the fact that the inauguration was today, so it was EXTREMELY difficult for me to take my eyes off the television. I was entranced by the history that was unfolding before me. My heart was heavy with so many emotions.
It was Tuesday though... and a school day too. Our history lesson included watching the swearing in and President Obama's speech, but we had our other core subjects to cover, so the television eventually got turned off. Not long after that, Colby and I got into it over some behavioral issues. Before I knew it, I was raising my voice and Colby was sobbing. As we were talking about the behavioral issues, through his tears Colby volunteered to move outside for the time being. We were talking about how we were going to solve the issue at hand, and quite simply his way of dealing with it was to just move out. I took his hand and reminded him that that's not how we solve problems. We never solve problems by avoiding them. We solve problems by confronting them and then making the changes necessary. As I was saying these words to my son, I was thinking about myself. I was finding that I was speaking to MYSELF just as much as I was speaking to him. We prayed together, hugged and our school day continued.
Even as an adult, my first inclination whenever troubles arise is to run away. I try to find other things to occupy my mind, my heart, and my time... so I don't have to think about it. My nine year old son told me he wanted to live outside in these cold winter months (okay, maybe not THAT cold... we are in California) just so that he could avoid fixing the problem. To be honest, I was there myself a couple of weeks ago. There was a day when everything ugly seemed to appear in my life. Everything that I hated about myself surfaced. All the "things" in life that get me down bombarded me like a HUGE brick wall. I wanted to run. The problem wasn't in the fact that I wanted to run, but in the fact that I wanted to run in the opposite direction of the One who loves me most and KNOWS my heart like no other!
I was reminded today,with my own words,while I was talking with Colby, that God's not finished with me yet. It almost sounds cliche, but it's so true! He sees my imperfections and He wants me to run to Him so that He can continue His artwork. THROUGH my imperfections, He wants to make me new everyday. We all have imperfections. The question is, do we just accept them, or do we surrender them to our maker so that He can continue His work in us? Do we run AWAY from our imperfections, or do we run them TO God's miraculous hands?
I sat on my son's bed today and made a promise. I promised him that I will continue to pray about MY issues. I won't let Satan in to make me think that I am better off running away. I promised him that as his mommy, I will be diligent in prayer for him... that he will run to Jesus with his imperfections and hand them over... knowing that God desires to take those imperfections and make him perfect. For we are the ones who view ourselves as flawed. God doesn't view us that way. He views us as his creation... created perfectly for purposes known by Him. Our purpose begins the day we are born and it doesn't end. It lives on... even after we have gone to meet our maker. Isn't that amazing?
Because of this, I know that yesterday, today and even tomorrow... He's not finished with us yet my sweet Colby.