Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Promise

Re * deem:

1. to free from what distresses or harms. 2. to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental. 3. to change for the better.
~ Webster's Dictionary

This is an extra special word near and dear to me. I have faced redemption in the face. Many times. Isn't it true that we stare it in the face throughout our lives? There are many loved ones in my personal life that are staring at redemption right now, but the chains are choking them. I pray for these people constantly and I know that someday, in God's perfect timing, they will allow themselves to be redeemed... set free of the pain that harms them every day.

I experienced pain in a way that I never expected about 16 years ago. J and I lost our first born son to premature birth. About a year later, we lost our second born son to premature birth. I fell into a depression that I never thought I'd find my way out of. The world looked different to me than it had. Life almost seemed impossible to live. I couldn't understand why this desire that was so strong in my heart was being crushed. The only thing I had ever wanted to be was a mother, and I felt like God had "stolen" that away from me.

We let ourselves heal for about a year before trying to become parents again. This time... test after test.... month after month... the results were negative. Once again, I experienced anger and frustration in a way that changed who I was. I wanted to be in control. I wanted to have some sort of say over my future. We all know that's not the way God wants it though, and that was what He was trying to prove. After many months (18 to be factual) of taking drugs, experiencing some WILD mood swings, and having some pretty nasty times in my marriage.... a light bulb went on.

It wasn't about me or my wants. It was about God wanting to change things in me... for the better. He knew my heart. He knew I needed redemption from things that were harming me BEFORE I became a mother. My father used to remind me during this time that God doesn't put desires in our hearts and leave them unfulfilled. He does fulfill. He DOES redeem.

Soon after this light bulb went on, J and I were baptized together and within a month, we were pregnant with our third born son, Lucas. He is our oldest here on earth and his name means 'The Light'. In my heart, he is visual proof of God's redemption. He is proof of what happens when we let go of the chains and let God do what He wants to do with us.

I honestly believe with all my heart that the things that are put in our hearts by God will not be unfulfilled. There's no such thing as settling for "It's never going to happen... This is just life". These people that I pray for... these are the words (i.e.chains) that choke them every day.

It's a choice though.

For I have learned that when we place these shattered portions of our lives before our King, He will fulfill. He will change us for the better. He will use these times to grow us and show us what He is capable of doing. He works miracles. He continues to prove this to me time and time again as I experience His grace.

I will continue to pray for these people I love. I pray that they will see that there is another option. I pray that they will see God's face in the areas of their lives that need redemption. I will pray that they are set free and that they will be changed for the better.

It's what God promises to do.

4 comments:

Dad said...

The wait was worth it!

I think you have some preacher blood in you!

Alexis said...

Amen.

Alice said...

What a beautiful post Tami. I found your blog today and what a reminder from the Lord that He is the best redeemer around, the only one who can redeem us from what torments us.

I hope you don't mind me dropping in and reading your post and commenting.

Ali
www.aliceworkentin.blogspot.com

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